State Mandates Food Cops in Every Restaurant

"I'll be your food protection manager tonight. What can't I serve you?"

"I'll be your food protection manager tonight. What can't I serve you?"

Starting Feb. 1, every restaurant in Mass. will be forced to employ at least one “certified food protection manager.” Among the many duties to be assumed by the state-mandated food cops will be teaching fellow staff about “washing hands with soap and water and not hand sanitizer, and wiping food preparation areas, table tops and highchairs with commercial-strength cleaners.”

The most important task ahead, say proponents of the mandatory food safety initiative, is preventing patrons with food allergies from being poisoned or killed by their meals. The newly enlisted food protection managers will be responsible for personally serving every ‘special needs’ patron while teaching fellow servers and kitchen staff how to avoid contaminating plates with allergens.

“Restaurants are also encouraged to make simpler dishes by avoiding ingredients that hide allergens, like some mollusks and shellfish, barley and rye,” reports Boston’s WCVB-TV. “Currently, federal law does not require ‘minor’ allergens to be clearly listed on food labels.”

Got that? Thanks to the new law, chefs will be “encouraged” to alter their signature recipes that they’ve crafted for the vast majority of patrons who do not have food allergies.

Simply posting warnings on menus about potential food allergens contained in dishes would make too much sense and force those with food allergies to actually pay attention to what they choose to consume. This way, they can not be held responsible for getting sick — it’s the restaurants and chefs who will be blamed and sued for poisoning them. Talk about a ‘Happy Meal’ for trial lawyers!

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8 responses to “State Mandates Food Cops in Every Restaurant

  1. Pingback: Food Supplements That Fight Aging - … to be Simply! - eSimply.Org


    Ya know it would be cheaper for the restaurant to hire like a retired TSA agent or US security agent to handle your tallywacker while you do your business so you don’t touch yourself while doing your “business” and that would take care of the sanitary part of the bill

  3. Yeah, seriously, what IS next? Maybe they will have retired government workers form a special task force to hold our dicks while we pee. (If you can’t tell, this pisses me off…And I work in restaurants.)

  4. Pingback: Nanny State Liberation Front « This Pilgrim’s Cross

  5. Zieg Heil, Herr Barney and fellow socialists! You vill be hafe yourself or ve haf vays of making you comply!!! Verschte? Now, you rotten svine vill get back to vork schnell!

  6. Wow! It never ceases to amaze me that we have to alter the masses to protect a few. Now depending on the few this may be necessary. But our government is way OVER STEPPING THEIR BOUNDRIES with these kinds of laws.

  7. Pingback: Michelle O, Strong-Arm’s Restaurants

  8. If this wasn’t so stupid it would be laughable. How many folks out there know of anyone that has gotten sick from a purchased meal ? (first hand not a story on line) How many have any experience with food allergies? If something makes you ill it is YOUR responsibility to avoid it. Americans need to grow up,if you can’t take care of yourselves just lay down now and get it over with.

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